


Before I sleep

by Valorem



Category: Chinese Actor RPF, UNIQ (Band), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Financial Issues, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:01:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27709432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valorem/pseuds/Valorem
Summary: “Do you remember?” Seungyoun asks, head tilted upward, loose-limbed and languid where he’s curled into Yibo’s side; “We used to watch the stars, you and I - laid back a little way off the academy, the grass was always dark and soft, and after a while you’d get scared of all the little insects, so you’d try to lay on top of me, and of course, I wasn’t about to get abandoned to the anthropods, so I’d climb overyou-” He turns to the side to look at Yibo; “we wouldn’t be looking at the stars anymore after that.”OrSeungyoun and Yibo get a little deep, and for once, its not sexual. Mostly.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Wang Yi Bo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Before I sleep

**Author's Note:**

> This is not beta'ed - all mistakes are my own.

“Do you remember?” Seungyoun asks, head tilted upward, loose-limbed and languid where he’s curled into Yibo’s side; “We used to watch the stars, you and I - laid back a little way off the academy, the grass was always dark and soft, and after a while, you’d get scared of all the little insects, so you’d try to lay on top of me, and of course, I wasn’t about to get abandoned to the anthropods, so I’d climb over _you_ -” He turns to the side to look at Yibo; “we wouldn’t be looking at the stars anymore after that.”

Yibo smiles, folding his legs in between his lover’s. “Depends on who you ask-“ he teased, tapping the tip of Seungyoun’s nose, “ _I_ was still looking at one.”

Seungyoun snorts at the graceless come-on, “A _star_?” He huffs amused, “not _us_ , not if the universe has a say!“ he swallows - awkward and loud like he expected Yibo to judge him for his fears, at this very real thing - that their careers might never go anywhere; and that they might just fade into obscurity like every ninety-nine to hundred failure stories in the entertainment industry went.

“Not _me_ anyway _._ ” he amends. 

Yibo blinks at the rare show of vulnerability, then sighs, climbing on top of Seungyoun to fold his arms over his best friend’s chest - “why _not_ you?” He asks, “you’re the most talented out of all of us.”

Seungyoun shakes his head, like he was trying to dispell bad thoughts. It mustn't have worked very well - 'cause he then grins a huge hurtful smile like he was forcing himself to be happy for Yibo’s sake. He even dredges up a dimple as he slopes his hand down the curve of Yibo’s back dismissively. “That’s debatable baby” he teases, “I wouldn’t _dream_ of stealing that spot from you.”

Yibo glares at him, then huffs, turning around to fall back into the bed, spreading his arms out and smacking Seungyoun’s chest with one, “you don’t even take me seriously-“ he groused, kicking the blankets up, and out from underneath him, “you guys _never_ take me seriously, and honestly, I’m not a _child_ anymore-“

Seungyoun grasps Yibo’s flailing hands and holds the one that hit him to the chest, “I don’t think you’re a child” Seungyoun promises solemnly, then waggles his eyebrows, “you were literally naked in my bed less than twenty minutes ago sweetheart, I do _not_ think you’re a child, I assure you.”

Yibo look at him assessingly, then turns away, feeling moderately appeased. He collapses down to lay on his back, but no longer curled into Seungyoun’s body.

His best friend sighs fondly at the little tantrum, reaching out a hand to tug at Yibo’s hair, “Yibo, baby, Yeebs I’m sorry - come _here_ -“ he croons, shoving an arm unceremoniously under Yibo’s hips and slotting him back to his side. He looks down at Yibo seriously, lovely eyes sparkling starlight bright under the night lamps they had on. When Yibo looks back at him expectantly, Seungyoun opens his mouth and then.... hovers, like he was not entirely sure what he wanted to say.

“You’re ruining my vibe here,-“ he admits grumpily in the end, pressing a kitten soft kiss to Yibo’s nose.

Yibo’s skin tingles, helplessly wanton to whatever Seungyoun wanted as he’d always been. He scrunches his nose, turning slightly, and then nudges himself more comfortably under Seungyoun’s arm.

“Well.” Yibo corrects with the voice of a pretentious academic- “I think you’ll be the greatest of us all- The Amazing Multi-Talented, Song Writing Musical Genius Cho Seungyoun! all caps! When you hold concerts, everyone will be chanting your name - _thump thump thump!_ ” Yibo drops his hands from the overly dramatic gesticulation, half caught in awkward motion.

Looking at Seungyoun’s blatantly nervous face, Yibo softens - “you’re gonna revolutionise music baby,” he says seriously, taking Seungyoun’s hand in his own and pressing it to his heart, “I _feel_ it here. I _know_ it.”

The crackle of Seungyoun’s thematic fireplace feels inappropriately loud in the ensuing silence. Yibo twists, flushing at how _real_ and almost uncomfortably vulnerable that had felt to admit. Seungyoun however, was blinking at him, eyes wide in surprise, smiling somewhat awkwardly, boyishly overwhelmbed. He swallows, Adam’s apple sliding up and down under fragile skin, “I uh-“ he coughed hoarsely, “I appreciate that. Thank you.” He smooths Yibo’s messy hair from back his forehead, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead. Yibo leans into the kiss, letting it linger like a beloved blessing. When he pulls back, Seungyoun is smiling more naturally, eyes soft where they met Yibo’s own. “we hit the jackpot with you, you know that?” He hums, after a long while, grazing the tips of his fingers down Yibo’s arm, “beautiful boy, you keep us all sane. Just by being your ridiculously sweet adorable self.” He kisses Yibo’s forehead again, “Thankyou.” Seungyoun repeats, voice a bit more low, more sincere.

Yibo looks up at him, warm where he is folded into the blankets, warm where Seungyoun’s arms hold him close to his heart.

“What for?” He asks softly, half too scared to hear the answer, half like he’s been waiting his whole life to hear it. Seungyoun blinks, with that distant somewhat painful look he got on his face whenever any discussion they had hit a little too close to home. Yibo turns away in merciful consideration, hangs his head while smoothing a palm down Seungyoun’s chest, feeling uncomfortably aware of the elephant in the room, and woefully inadequate to ever address it.

When Seungyoun doesn’t respond for the longest time, Yibo takes a deep breath and ploughs on. “You never need to ask me to come-“ he promised in lieu of saying anything that might be more incriminating and possibly ruin their careers, “you never _ever_ need to ask me... anything; you need me, nothing can ever be more important.” He breathes the silly words into Seungyoun’s chest like they were fifteen and cuddling after a hard day of practice and not adults with murky indistinct futures; like the choppy half-formed words Yibo could choke out of his throat could ever capture the complexity of his confusing feelings toward his own life and that of his lover's.

Seungyoun shudders under his hand, surprised at Yibo's declaration - wanting as it had been. His ribs echo the thump of his heartbeat, pulsing under Yibo’s palm. Seungyoun’s warm vast _beloved_ heart - and it had never felt more fragile than it did now, quivering in Yibo’s doubtful grasp. He swallowed a couple of times and Yibo waited for him to get himself together, head on his chest, keeping rhythm with him.

When he comes to, Seungyoun was petting his hair again. “As I said-“ he repeats, voice more stable, “Thankyou. The world could go through a rebirth of several hundred lifetimes, and yet- yet-“ he curls a finger under Yibo’s chin, lifting it up to meet his eyes. Yibo slides up in the bed, so he is no longer clinging to Seungyoun’s chest, but could rather cradle him close to his own instead. He brushes the down of his Seungyoun's soft hair, as his lover breathed in on Yibo’s coarse machine washed sweater, coiling the stringy wool in his finger.

“I can't think of anyone in the whole world to deserve you.”

Yibo snorts.

“Don't be so cheesy” he teases, smacking Seungyoun’s shoulder, “I assure you, I’m not some kind of special snowflake sent down by the gods to be an ideal man, or the ideal ass really, or cock - you seem to love both equally well enough, and honestly-“

Seungyoun finally giggles, easily and forever charmed by Yibo's chatter, snaking a hand down under Yibo’s shirt to twist a nipple, - “no, no” he agrees comically apologetic, pushing the sweater up to close his mouth on the abused nipple.

Yibo gasps, arching a little, always caught off guard when Seungyoun did something that required more audacity than usual. Seungyoun blows over the tender skin like he was considering what he wanted to say next - then suckled a little, comfortable, and warm, like a newborn finding safety.

Yibo cock thickens under his tiny shorts, and he feels _raw,_ tender, like he was burning up inside out, at the unexpected and comfortable show of affection, his toes curling when Seungyoun gives his nipple a friendly little bite, and then just rests his mouth there, not doing anything before finally pulling away with a wet pop, after he seems to have made up his mind.

“You’re not an ideal anything-“ he confirms, placing another parting kiss to Yibo’s chest, and another to the ignored nipple before pulling Yibo’s shirt down again. “I’ll never put you on a pedestal don’t you worry.”

He rests his head on Yibo’s chest after the assurance, breath blowing warmly on Yibo’s still slightly over sensitive skin. Yibo’s spine tingles under the onslaught, he feels like he’s floating, turned on, but too comfortable to risk getting messy again. He breathes in through his nose, and ignores his teenage hormones in favour of petting Seungyoun’s hair again, trying to make the best use of their limited time together. In a couple of hours, Yibo would have to fly back home, and he'd have no one to randomly slide his clothes out of place to mouth at his skin, to rib him gently when Yibo said something stupid, or press his feet while he played legos, to light up the night itself with their lovely voice. It seems terrifyingly lonely.

Seungyoun hums, fingers skating over Yibo’s skin, a motion he’s done thousand times in the past - but a million times more intimate for how heavy all these things they don't say weighing in between him. He plays with the strap of Yibo’s shorts, grazes his lovely fingers over his slowly hardening cock, but mercilessly never escalates.

Yibo’s played this game with his best friend before, he knows to let Seungyoun touch to his heart's content, to let him do as he pleases until he finally loses patience and rips Yibo’s clothes off.

For now, they enjoy the silence, the crackle of Seungyoun’s fake fireplace, the wind whistling outside the warm silent bedroom.

Seungyoun suddenly pulls his questing hands away, “if you need anything you’d tell me right?” He asks, sitting up to meet Yibo’s eyes, “if things are hard, or... rent, or if you have creaky floorboards- you can ask me, I’ll help you-“

Yibo sighs heavenward, interrupting Seungyoun's soliloquy rudely. He spares a moment to mourn the peaceful silence and then kiss it goodbye and kick it to the curb. “I don't want your _help_ Younie,” Yibo promises, almost not caring how arrogant and ungrateful he sounds, “I don’t need anyone’s help, I’m _fine._ ” Yibo knows there are some kind of conversations, the kind that ruined friendships and epic loves, but he’s never known how to explain himself better. How to make his friends understand that accepting help was the closest Yibo could get to defeat, and Yibo just _couldn’t_ \- ego be damned - not when he’d been forced to do so in every other aspect of his life.

And in all honesty, Yibo _is_ fine. The security could certainly be better and he does have a relentlessly leaky faucet that keeps him up at night, but for the most part, Yibo really is fine. He pets Seungyoun’s hair again to take away the sting of the harsh blow of careless words. “I’m _okay_ baby- I promise. I’m keeping busy.” _For the most part, please don’t ask more of me._

Seungyoun winces at the obvious bullshit, hands curling halfheartedly in the wool of Yibo’s sweater. “When did you start learning to lie?” He asks quietly, burying his face in Yibo’s chest, shoulders heavy and laden. He breathes out, sagging inside his bones, “I suppose it doesn’t matter that it's not fair, right?“ he says quietly, “doesn’t matter that you _want_ to keep struggling like this-“

“I don’t mind,” Yibo says shortly. _Firmly._ “It gets a bit lonely and windy when I’m home alone, but I-“ he squeezes Seungyoun to his chest, “I have the memories of my friends to keep me warm.”

Seungyoun snuffles down on Yibo’s chest, rubbing his face a little on the wool, its Yibo’s turn to pull his face up and cradle it in his palm, “it’s okay baby” he repeats trying to sound more assuring, “what happened _to_ us, is not on us. We can only try to move on now, I think, and you have your own overflowing plate to deal with.”

Seungyoun blinks slowly when Yibo says that, huffing a derisive snort. “Move on...“ he grimaced, “move on..- it sounds so easy when you say it like that; like it’s just a truth we need to face.”

Yibo pushes Seungyoun a little until the majority of his weight is not crushing Yibo’s chest, “I didn’t mean to sound dismissive-“ he says apologetically, _foot meet mouth_ Yibo flaps his hands a little, “I’m really sorry, that’s not what I meant!”

“You didn’t?” Seungyoun raises his brows comically, and when Yibo shakes his head hard enough to rip it off his spine, Seungyoun finally chokes out a fond giggle, petting Yibo’s chest; “I know you didn’t, silly.” He grinned, pearly whites showing and only slightly forced. He rubs down Yibo’s back and adds - “You brat, I’ve known you since you were five feet tall and too mouthy for your own good. I’m not gonna misunderstand you _now._ ”

Yibo sighs in relief, something in his chest loosening as he turned pliant. They shift again until Yibo is back being cradled in Seungyoun’s arms.

“Nothing’s changed for you and me” Seungyoun promises, “and if you cant accept my help, or Wenhan’s or even Xuan-ge’s” his voice turned louder when Yibo tries to interrupt, “I must accept that.” He sighed, “I can’t grudge you for what made me...- no, not just me, _all of us_ \- love you so desperately in the first place,” he sighs, sounding world-weary at twenty. “You know...- I once told everyone that I would always choose you; Whatever happened, wherever we were - for your love and your loyalty, for how kind and gentle you always are and how you remember the little things about us, for how you _take care of us_ , everything might change, everything _has_ actually, but you and I- you and I- that’s forever; forever and ever and ever.”

It's childish as promises go, but Yibo and Seungyoun _had_ been children when they’d first made this promise, and Seungyoun _was_ right, as he tended to frequently be, nothing had changed really, not what truly mattered. Nothing but a buck or five lost here and there, nothing but a couple of shattered dreams they’d come too close to achieving.

Yibo curls, pulling his knees up and tucking his feet back in between Seungyoun’s own. This late, Seungyoun’s eyes reflect the glow from Yibo’s own, they’re brighter than any guiding star that seafarers might have used to find shores.

_Yibo is so in love with him._

He reaches up an arm to cradle Seungyoun’s face. “Forever and ever” he agrees, reaching up to close the gap.

When Seungyoun’s lips meet his own - his smile is as true as his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I haven't stanned Seungyoun for that long a time. I basically found out about him through Yibo and subsequently Uniq. Not being a very musically oriented person, this is not particularly surprising given that I don't really know much about music or singers, regardless of talent or presence. 
> 
> Seungyoun has been through so much to get where he's at - he had a band then he didn't, he had a band again, then he didn't. Apart from just being a genius in general - his perseverance and bravery is extremely motivating, and its why he's here now, easily one of the most positive influencers in the music industry. This is for Woodz, and all that he is. 
> 
> Jiyao Seungyoun, may you reach all the heights you want to in life. 
> 
> And Yibo - baby be happy. Every time something happens to you... (which is basically all the time) - you get back up twice as strong, and ten times as inspiring. Also, I almost broke my hips trying to skateboard cause of you - you have too much power for someone your size. 
> 
> I wish Uniq a good ending to 2020, and maybe I'll drop another fic before the year ends.
> 
> 1\. [ Stream Bump Bump here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1ee4sPdaLI)  
> 2\. [My twitter if you wanna hang](https://twitter.com/_Valorem_)
> 
> This needs more work, but I'll fix it later.


End file.
